Welcome to LockDownVision 2020. After Eurovision 2020 had been cancelled, it left a lot of rather unimpressed people behind. So, what was left to do?
While I have no idea how you guys are possibly coping with this terrible situation, we put on our own Eurovision, I mean LockDownVision, and (luckily) my better half didn’t leave to buy smokes just yet.
So, let’s cut this short, shall we?
We spread our little exercise over two days and while I was afraid Grand Prix lock down style would get terribly depressing, it was still a lot of fun. Once more, no cheese hedgehog but on the bright side my friends didn’t have to come up with odd excuses this year.
The final score of LockDownVision does not represent official results from Eurovision 2020.
LockDownVision in a nutshell
Unfortunately, not all entries had performances on stage online, so it was nearly impossible to compare the different artists. The score you see is not my list but our honest and combined effort to judge in a way you would look at a Eurovision song. Below you’ll find the official recap.
Overall, it was a very young and strong competition this year. The big 5, you know the countries that mostly pay for all this fun, were a bit mediocre. The Scandinavian countries did not do too well either on our lists. The Mamas for Sweden were amazing, their song just fell a bit flat and while we really liked Ben & Tan for Denmark, they somehow failed to make it to our finals. My deepest apologies to Greece and Stefania with Supergirl. The former Junior ESC competitor scored a lot higher on my personal list…
The prize for OMG-what-are-they-wearing for LockDownVision almost goes to Australia for a strangely Harlequin inspired costume. This was still topped by Portugal with puffy sleeves but the true winner for worst dressed is by far Latvia. You know the umbrellas with the tassely stuff you find at beach bars? This is what her outfit must have been made of and don’t let me even get started on the song.
All we know is that pants are back, preferably culottes. [Shivers]
Without further ado, Europe has voted!
1 Point – Isreal
For Israel Eden Alene would have performed Feker Libi, a song written in Hebrew, Amharic, Arabic and a few words from fantasy land. Her performance was gold and if the song had been a wee bit better, she certainly would have scored higher.
2 Points – Cyprus
Sandro would have performed for Cyprus with a song he had co-written. Running is a powerful song that does not fit into the euro dance number at all …
3 Points – Italy
Diodato is a musician, you know the kind that plays on festivals and can probably read notes, and is singing a love song for Italy. Without LockDownVision I am sure he would have scored much higher with Fai rumore. Break the silence.
4 Points – Croatia
Croatia was sending Damir Kedžo with a song called Divlji Vjetre [Wild Wind]. On point.
5 Points – Georgien
Now, Tornike Kipiani won Georgias Idol a few minutes before midnight on New Years Eve and would have performed Take Me As I Am in a very loud and angry way.
6 Points – Malta
The Maltese are crazy about the ESC and with consistently strong performances I really hope one day Malta will actually take this home. Destiny Chukunyere would have performed All of My Love for Malta. What a voice for a 17-year-old lady! Unfortunately, there was no performance of this song on stage available, otherwise she probably would’ve scored a lot higher on our lists.
7 Points – Norway
Norway takes the Grand Prix seriously, in case you didn’t know, and the results over the years just underline that. Hey, the gave us Lordi! Ulrikke would have performed the song Attention. While this is not the music I would usually volunteer to listen to, this is a perfectly crafted Eurovision Song and this lady truly has some girl power. Extra points for the biggest Ohrwurm.
8 Points – Poland
Alicja Szemplińska presented a James Bond worthy ballad with Empires. Now, this lady can sing! Considering she is so young, she wouldn’t be able to buy a drink in many countries, I really hope she’ll get a second go.
9 Points – Slovenia
Singer Songwriter Ana Soklič represented Slovenia with a spot on song & performance. The all white outfit did it for us.
10 Points – Iceland
Daði og Gagnamagnið presented an absolutely perfect ESC Song; nerd style. Leading up to the competition Thinking about Things charmed people all over the world and had a great chance to be way up high on the left side of the board. They even used a wind machine. Pure LockDownVision magic!
11 Points – Lithuania
The Roop describe their style as pussy pop. The song On Fire criticizes the youth cult of todays’ music business but singer Vaidotas Valiukevičius has such an amazing stage presence, he could rock the worst song EVER on the ESC stage and still rank within the first 5. Kudos.
Douze Points – Russia
Russia certainly knows how to play the Eurovision game and Little Big seemed like an unusual choice compared to the normally perfectly crafted power ballads. We say good choice for the rave punk. Uno won us over and was able to secure the prime spot. It sums up a perfect LockDownVision performance, complete with some hidden criticism. Add extra cultural studies points for a completely new outlook on Russian culture.
What is the Future of Eurovision?
Well, hopefully it won’t be another LockDownVision. A few countries have already decided to send this years’ artists once more, but the rules require new songs. In the meantime, you can find all updates on the Eurovision website.
Which song is your winner?
For all people who are still not coping, at the moment, every Friday you will find a new Eurovision Home Concert on your Tube, which is … interesting …